The Crater


Josh Hamsterdam And The Case Of The Bleacher Toke
October 31, 2010, 7:57 am
Filed under: Levity, Sport

The Giants are in the World Series.

As somebody who travels in circles largely devoid of professional sports fans, I’ve often felt a duality of personality; namely, I’m an intensely voracious sports fan in a non-sports fan’s mold, one who rarely if ever discusses such things outside the confines of a familial chat or internet message board. I rather like this, because honestly, none of my friends give a shit, and I’d feel kind of childish opining about my love of what are essentially macho, irrelevant diversions. My affinity for sport is mostly born from the rare times I find myself relating emotionally to the event, or team, I’m watching. The 2010 San Francisco Giants might be the strongest example of that (despite the fact that I’ve always considered myself a basketball fan first and foremost), but that’s a tale for another day. Hopefully a happy tale, told about a week from now.

The team lining up against these vaunted, orange-clad heroes are the Texas Rangers, led by their superstar outfielder Josh Hamilton. Now, Josh Hamilton, as it happens, is a drug addict of a rather prodigious streak. While out of baseball with an injury in 2001, he started riding the H-Train, and by all accounts it fucked up his life pretty good. When he cleaned up in 2006, he began the comeback path to return to the Major Leagues, and ultimately, to reclaim the mantle of baseball virtuoso that his addiction very nearly washed away. Let it be said now that I’m very happy for him, and wish him continued success in staying sober and happy for the rest of his life. He confessed to a brief relapse in a Tempe, AZ bar in 2009, and reportedly takes great pains to insure himself against his own cravings for drugs; he explicitly avoids enduring long periods of time by himself. According to him, though, cannabis has never been his thing.

That said, the man has a nose for it:

β€œI could smell weed in the outfield,” Hamilton said. β€œIt was crazy. I was looking at the cops a couple of times during the game.”
Now, let me tell you, I know what weed smells like, and it lives up to the hype in being strongly pungent and unmistakably distinctive to those who know it. Regardless, my first though upon reading this was “really?” I have to be honest, I don’t know if I could smell smoke coming from the bleachers (wafting upwards, as smoke is want to do) while standing in center field at San Francisco Park, and if Hamilton is telling the truth I’ve probably smelt more of it than he has. I’ve also been to many Giants games and never caught a whiff. In fact, the last time I smelled weed at a sporting event was wafting out of a Port-O-Potty in the Oakland Coliseum parking lot.
This fellow writing for CBS Sports claims he smelled nothing that night, though he also cites a Dallas reporter who cried cannabis, as well as an anonymous source who recalled a “cloud over the park” during the team’s Jerry Garcia Tribute Night (which, honestly, seems entirely necessary). So, anybody at the game that night? Are people hot-boxing (or rather hot-bowling) the field? Inquiring minds want to know.